Madam, I’m Adam

OK, so humanity has unravelled the human genome, been to the moon and we have machines that can tell us exactly where we are on the planet. But, I have a question for science. What is the point of Adam Sandler? Has he ever made a good film? Ben Stiller is no thespian but he has left us Zoolander, most of the actors in Pulp Fiction are rubbish in evey other film they have ever made, but we will always remember them as Jules, Vincent and whatever that boxer Bruce Willis plays is called. But Adam? I remember finding The Wedding Singer amusing, but is remaking the same film 15 times, simply because it has the same actor in it, justifiable? Evidently somebody thinks so, but I sure as hell don’t.I’m still on the ferry from Bellingham to Ketchikan and I’m having a wonderful time. All my previous preconceptions (see earlier post) about Americans have been immeasurably improved, thanks to Harley riders Jim, Kirk and Dave who have been hilarious and looked after me very well. Kirk started drinking at 7:30 this morning with his pancakes and bacon. I wasn’t far behind.

We’ve had a few beers, seen a few whales and it’s time for my afternoon nap. However, when I return to my bedroom (called in ship-speak The TV Recliner Lounge, which ought to be a clue to be fair) they are showing a film. And you’re not going to believe who is the vehicle, or star, of this opus. Yes, you guessed it, dear old Adam Sandler. I have seen Adam Sandler films on buses in every country I have travelled in so far, some of them 3 times. Really, has he never noticed that he plays THE SAME CHARACTER in every single film? Slightly dorky, dickish loser with a good heart, who is up against it but always ends up with the girl at the end, despite the Oh-No-He’s-Blown-It point at around the 47 minute mark. Poverty should upset me, Fox News should piss me off, football player’s salaries should horrify me, but no. Today folks it’s Adam Sandler. One thing I will not miss from travelling.

And talking of Fox News, I’ve been watching it quite a lot. It is, quite simply, the worst thing I have ever seen on television and I’ve seen Italian TV variety shows. I really don’t know where to start, hundreds of other websites and The Daily Show do criticism of it much better than I ever could, but one quote sticks in my mind. ACORN, an action group / chairity for the poor (poor, read black), favoured by Obama is being sued by some Republican dude for illegally financing the Democrats. The Foxy Lady presenter gets the background from a colleague, who summarises the lawsuit using the words “allegedly” and ‘supposedly” as any good reporter should. Plastic Funny Eyebrow Lady then looks directly at the camera and spits with undisguised poison the question, “And how have they [ACORN] got away with doing this for so long?”.

Doing what? Where did the “allegedly’ go? Did I miss the piece where you reported them being found guilty? Or, even the trial starting? Serious, objective reporting at its finest.